BlogAre You Confusing PAIN with LOVE?

September 22, 2020by Kate
This is SO upsetting to me, and it is the main reason that I do this work..


The amount of women who come to me claiming that they are ‘in love with their soulmate, twin flame or divine masculine’

But yet when we dig in and start getting the story, they are in fact in terrible amounts of pain

Because they don’t know the difference between LOVE and PAIN

And they think that they are in love with men who treat them like s**t – they cheat, they lie, they gaslight, they control, they disappear..


But I get it

I grew up not knowing the difference between love and pain

My parents were very abusive – verbally and physically

They told me I was to blame for their feelings, their problems and they screamed at me, and each other, for most of my childhood

They gaslit me, twisted me out of shape, shamed me and made me feel unworthy of love..


Obviously, I took this into my relationships with men

I had a deep neediness inside, covered up by a hard wall

I used humour, banter and people pleasing to try to get men to love me

I twisted myself out of shape to try to get men to love me

I gave and I gave and I gave myself, my heart and everything I had, because I didn’t feel enough, just as I was

But the worst part of it was this – I actually thought that abuse was LOVE


I thought that when a man was unavailable, hot and cold, non-committal, critical and controlling – that this meant that he loved me


And so I STAYED!

I gave YEARS OF MY LIFE to men like this

Thankfully, I got help


And I learnt that LOVE isn’t PAIN

I learnt a whole other load of stuff about how to REWIRE THE BRAIN FOR LOVE, NOT PAIN


If you want to get WIRED FOR LOVE, instead of PAIN book a free call with us and we will walk you through how it works

Book here:

You can learn what LOVE really is – it doesn’t have to HURT


Speak soon,


Kate Avatar Image


Kate Mansfield Dating Coach

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